Lizzy Remember that teacher, that never gave you an A, because 'you can always do better'? I'm sure he had the best intentions, I mean, image you would stop performing after getting an A. Right. Anyways, not fun. Somehow though I am guilty of telling my kids pretty much the same thing. 'You can make it even prettier if you add this' or 'It would be even better if you also did this'. OUGH. Basically I'm saying: 'It wasn't good enough'
As a kid I had a big fear of failure. Especially at high school, I kept studying and studying for a test, terrified for the result and then always ending up with great grades. Very frustrating for my classmates, that thought I got those grades without effort. Because everybody knew I was smart, except for myself. I expected to much of myself and had little time for fun things.
By the time I got into college I turned into a true perfectionist, and working together was not my favorite subject. What if my classmate didn't perform as much as I? Then I would end up with a lower grade too! I didn't realize how prideful that kind of thinking was. At that time I didn't see it as something bad. Aren't we supposed to aim for excellence?
Last week I did a self-evaluation where I had to mark points that needed improvement in self-respect and boundaries. Now I marked a lot of points, but one of them really stood out to me;
"I am satisfied with what is good and do not allow myself to become discontented if it could be made better"
I had to read it three times. 'Being satisfied if I could do better'. Wait, what?! Everything inside of me protested. And then I though, maybe they are right. Maybe it is ok to do a bit less. Just good is also good.
In the current age of social media you see images of perfection all day long. Your house, your outfit and even your food is being compared. The standard is very high. But also in your free time you have to perform. Your drawings, your dance, singing, everything needs to be perfect. We're so busy with how many 'likes' we get, that even youth is suffering from burn-out and exhaustion. That is not ok!
Take for example this cake. In my eyes it didn't work out great, because it didn't look like the picture in the magazine. It was hard for me to let that picture go and be satisfied with 'just good'. Thankfully, my husband and kids like it and the taste was good too. Could it be better? For sure! But at that moment, it was good enough.
So dear people, let's be ok with just goodYour baby's first birthday can also be fun without that smash cake. smash cake or photosession. (But hey, if that's what you want do, go for it!) And if you get rejected for an audition; keep singing and dancing. You don't need a stage to perform. Keep doing the best you can, but also be ok when it's 'just good'. Then you will enjoy things so much more!
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